Sunday, August 4, 2013

Blatherings: Why I hate the Snowflake Metaphore: An Exercise in Cynicism and Redundancy

So I was looking around on Okay Cupid the other day (yes, yes, make of that what you will) and I found this one girl—for the sake of anonymity, I won’t reveal names—who seemed pretty cool. She was mildly self deprecating, into David Lynch and French flicks, liked discussions of philosophy, that kind of good stuff. However there was one mild turnoff, even if it was in jest: smack-dab in the middle of her profile was the phrase

~*BuT waIt i'M A bUTtIFuLL UnIQuE SNoWfLAke JSt LuV mE *~

Now if there’s one metaphor that’s always gotten on my nerves, it’s the old “every person is their own unique, beautiful snowflake.” I’m sure you’ve heard it, if not during kindergarten making one of those stupid cutouts that never, ever end up looking anything like a damned snow flake, then either on one of those motivational posters they’d always post around school, and if not there than in fight club. Tyler Durdan once said to his underlings in Project Mayhem “you are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying matter as everything else.” Now while I certainly understand what Durdan’s getting at, I’m going to have to disagree with the comparison, not in that I think we’re beautiful or unique, but that by calling someone a snowflake, no matter how beautiful, you might as well be comparing them to the same decaying organic matter as everything else. 
I mean let’s think about snowflakes for a bit here. They may each seem to have their own perfect geometry that seems to be crafted by the hand of god, Himself, however you’ll hardly be noticing that when you’re stepping on them left and right, letting your dog piss on them, or shoveling them out of your driveway into piles on the street for them to turn into brown slush.
            Let’s look at the lifespan of a snowflake. After a snowflake forms in the sky via whatever scientific process creates snowflakes, it floats to the ground as gently as a feather, or, well, a snowflake. This could be likened to the process of being born, or better yet, becoming an adult. Once you hit the ground, so to speak, it’s nothing but hell from thereon in.
            For the first few hours of your existence, yeah, you’ll make everything look all nice and sugarcoated, but people’s wonder lasts only so long before people decide that your current placement is too much of an inconvenience to be tolerated. Chances are, if you aren’t stepped on, sled upon or pissed on by some dog, you’ve shoveled into a giant pile of along with god knows what else was in the road, dirt included. If you’re lucky, you’ll be used to maybe make a snowman or molded into a snowball (although if that’s the case, there’s also the very real danger of further corruption, depending on how cruel the child is). But if they do, then you’ll be smushed against your brethren, each of you losing your uniqueness so that the shape you’re being formed into is stable.
            Not only that but your entire existence is dependent on the harshness of winter. As beautiful as you are, you are a hazard. You and your brethren cause hypothermia and frostbite in any humans unequipped to deal with. Your existence is dependent on the blocking out of the sun, preventing plants from photosynthesizing and creating more life.
            And when winter does eventually end, you’ll melt, not all at once, mind you, but inn short enough bursts so that, even if you’ve been molded into a snow man, you’ll become deformed and misshapen, as if the rays of the sun have given you down syndrome. If you’re lucky some kid whose likes to think he’s clever will save you snowball form for some unsuspecting victim; but in the end it’s just delaying the inevitable? Whether it's at the beginning of March or at the end of summer, you will melt.
            In short, by comparing either yourself or anyone to a snowflake you’re saying that our existence is small and fragile. Despite it’s outward beauty, it is wholly dependent on the harm and burdening of those we share space with. Each one of us may be unique, but that uniqueness is buried beneath the uniqueness of several millions of other of our peers before disappearing with barely a trace. The best we can hope for is to become a part of something bigger, our uniqueness unseen beneath the general shape we have become a part of. And yet together we cause more harm than our beauty truly deserves.

            Isn’t that inspiring?

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